“I don’t talk much”: The story of an introvert

The dictionary definition of an introvert is someone who is shy, quiet and prefers to spend time alone than being with people. Pretty simple to understand? But being an introvert in India is one of the most challenging tasks ever. This is because this kind of personality should not really exist in the eyes of the average Indian psyche. There definitely are people who differ on this thought and I’m glad they exist. But most of the people I encounter on a daily basis are ever-ready for personality attack. Being at the other end of this attitude can be a challenging feat to overcome. Frankly, I have always been cognizant of my matters. In other words, I have always had a conscious mindset. But as a child, I always dreaded going to public gatherings where I had to do the difficult task of interacting with people! Don’t get me wrong! I will not drive you away if you approach me. But a people friendly person can be a better listener in a conversation rather than the talker. However, it seems that a good listener is strikingly underrated.

As introverts, we are in general not outspoken but do speak out when required. In other words, vulnerability has nothing to do with the number of words per minute or the decibel of the voice of the speaker. There is only theoretical agreement with this statement. Once back to everyday life, they are back to bugging persons minding their own business. I don’t expect my article, or for that matter any article or other form of media, to make any difference to this widespread, ingrained mindset. But a mere acknowledgement from such people to the existence of introverted personalities can make a considerable difference in our comfort.

As far as my journey is concerned, I distinctly remember every parent-teacher meeting over my entire school life. Every year, the first would always be a question of whether or not I am even able to understand and grasp in class because of no facial expressions or active participation in class. Subsequently by the end of the year, I would make my mark in the minds of my teachers with the same behavior, for they would have understood my psyche, barring one or two teachers who made the effort to understand me right from the beginning. After that? New year, same process. All this while, my score would remain more or less consistent at 80-90%. We were quite used to this yearly pattern. I am not even blaming the school completely. I equally blame every other person I interact with among my family and friends. Apart from (thankfully!) a few, my introduction to new people was always along the lines of “This is Priya. She doesn’t talk much actually.” Well, this was even before I managed a complete smile for the new person. My parents never forced me to change anything in me. I was just good and needed no tweaks to make myself fit into the mold considered normal as per society. Without distracting my natural personality, my parents have managed to raise me into a self-reliant and sanguine woman. However, I would have seen myself as a confused and fake human personality, had I forced myself to talk and interact beyond my capacity.

I had to share my story to make people understand, that every one of us is totally unique, but absolutely perfect in their imperfections. Just like we use an equalizer in music to achieve our favored balance of frequencies, every human has a balance of qualities and in no circumstances would they function to their optimum on perturbing these innate characteristics. No two people can be exactly the same in every way. Unless we try to understand the other person and respect their boundaries, whether a small child, teenager or adult, there can never be complete understanding between two individuals.

This is probably the reason why we make some good friends for lifetime, as they are the chosen ones. Not everyone has a strong willpower to protect their inborn characteristics. In fact, most of them aren’t even aware of their own personality and thrust themselves into embodying socially acceptable personalities by force. I suggest everyone to exercise caution before commenting on someone’s personality unless it is directly affecting you negatively. Who knows, you may be a catalyst in the production of another two-faced person in the crowd of many other pretenders!

Point to ponder?

Be mystified, Be satisfied, Be detoxified, Be Priya-fied!